It definitely is hip to be Square: Square Pizza, Newcastle-upon-Tyne

A food review? Yep, that’s where I am heading right now. More so, a pizza review because if you follow me on Instagram, you know I am a pie guy.

I recently turned 25. In December, actually. The 9th, to be exact (put this in your calendars and send me cards). And when I turn a new year older, I tend to take a trip back to the motherland to see friends and family. The motherland is Newcastle if you weren’t sure. I am a Geordie living in Manchester.

As a self-proclaimed aficionado of pizza and someone pursuing to gain expertise in that area, grabbing a slice on the anniversary of my birth was a sure-shot thing.

On a previous visit to Newcastle, I strolled down the streets, soaking in the city I still call home, despite not living there. I stumbled upon an exterior that caught my eye due to its minimalistic style. I bookmarked it, mentally. I had to return to see what the interior was offering. Fast forward a few months, I decided to head on in whilst on a stroll around the city.

And on my stroll in, I was actually surprised. From that initial meeting with the spot, I didn’t investigate further. I simply remembered, and moved on. So, when I entered the joint, I was greeted with high-up benches around the side and a classic counter with freshly made slices to cast your eyes over instead of a quaint restaurant where you had a waiter-led meal. Ovens on show and pizzaiolos working their magic, it was a pleasant surprise.

I’m a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to pizza. Neapolitan. Margarita. Maybe a bit of salame or prosciutto with rocket if I am feeling fancy. I will also allow the classic New York slice because I’d be insane not to. When it comes to the Detroit style or Chicago style or even the revolutionary changes Gabriele Bonci made famous on the Romana pizza in teglia, I kind of become stubborn, I become reserved.

Despite this, the Red Top sauce from Square had me dancing. Not physically, just mentally and emotionally. I don’t think anyone would want to see me, a 6ft4 man, dance in public. It’d be like a newborn giraffe if newborn giraffes wore French worker jackets, and short beanies and were overly fascinated by Diego Maradona. I’m not sure I’ve tasted a sauce like it. I won’t lie when I say I’ve not stopped thinking about that Red Top sauce. It’s been over a month since I had it and it’s crossed my mind every day. A spectacularly mind-bending sauce. One I am not sure how to categorise but one that is delightful.

I partnered my slice with a portion of the waffle fries, a concept I’ve never been utterly sure about but one I can see myself becoming very fond of. And the waffle fries from Square were a favourable sidekick to the slice. Crispy outer texture combined with a soft potato-ey (not a word) centre and a moderately delectable taste, too. My better half topped her fries with parmesan and truffle oil, something of which I feel is becoming a regular staple side but one that is still seen as one of those emerging trends. Whatever it is, they were nice. Just…nice.

It’s a pretty solid joint. It won’t change your life, and it doesn’t top my list of pizzerias. But Square definitely fits the bill if you’re in the North East and are on the lookout for a slice (or a full pie as they do those, too). I don’t tend to look and pressure my recommendations onto people but if you do book a trip to Square, get the Red Top sauce in some form. On a slice, as a dip for your waffle fries. You’ve got to taste it.